The New Republican Dictionary
Is a project of the the great folks at The
Nation (subscribe for 75
cents a week_- well worth it to me) This
is a link to their blog with the dictionary. It apparently doesn't
work for some, so it's posted below.
-
Alternative Energy Sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.
-
Bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but
not corporations
-
Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.
-
Class Warfare n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
-
Climate Change n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the
oceans.
-
Compassionate Conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
-
Creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance
to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
-
DeLay, Tom n. 1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint.
-
Democracy n. So extensively exported that the domestic supply is
depleted.
-
Fox News fict. Faux news.
-
Free Markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
-
Girly Men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately.
-
God n. Senior presidential adviser.
-
Growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What
happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
-
Habeas Corpus n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See
Patriot Act).
-
Healthy Forest n. No tree left behind.
-
Honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom
is on the march."
-
House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5
million.
-
Laziness n. When the poor are not working.
-
Leisure Time n. When the wealthy are not working.
-
Liberal(s) n. Followers of the Anti-christ.
-
Neo-conservatives n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.
-
9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy.
-
No Child Left Behind riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military.
-
Ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population
controls 90 percent of the wealth.
-
Patriot Act n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent
the terrorists from destroying them first.
-
Pro-Life adj. Valuing human life until birth.
-
Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million. simplify
v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
-
Staying The Course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid
thing over and over, regardless of the result.
-
Shit Happens interj. Slang. Donald Rumsfeld as master historian.
-
Voter Fraud n. A significant minority turnout.
-
Wal-Mart n. The nation-state, future tense.
-
Water n. Arsenic storage device.
-
Woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be
trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2.
Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions
made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first
place.
Return to my Main
Page
c.d. pritchard, r0,
03/2006